Another quintessential country song has been conceived as Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert officially divorced as of July 20th. This after Shelton’s July 6th filing. Shelton allegedly found out Lambert had been cheating on him and was suspicious for months that her mister was Chris Young, her opener for her 2012 On Fire tour. Young, whose new country song will likely be “I wasn’t cheating with her,” disputed allegations on social…
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El Chapo’s Son Doesn’t Want to Negotiate With ‘Whitey Milkshitter’, Donald Trump
Donald Trump is getting Twitter bullied by Mexican drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman’s son. Probably deserves it with his track record of nice things he says about Mexicans. El Chapo recently blew the coop at his max security prison facility and escaped through a mile long elaborately dug tunnel which would have taken years of …
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Lindsay Lohan Clings to Last Shred of Dignity, Turns Down Burger King Commercial Spot
In a shocking twist of events, it turns out Lindsay Lohan does possess a low-level of standards; the “broke” (HAHAHHAHAHHA – JK SOBBING AT MY OWN FINANCES) star turned down starring in Burger King’s latest ad campaign. Burger King propositioned Lohan to don a Spicy Chicken Fry box dress, smoke a chicken fry, and give a sppppicy monologue, but homegirl’s got pride! Yes, she’s already spent years mocking herself including her hosting SNL, but this is “making fun of her issues!” Because the world wasn’t already doing that without your help, Lindsboi! Lohan and her managers at Untitled Talent (you think they just forgot to delete…
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Iggy Azalea Not Leaving Britney Spears Alone, Blames Her for ‘Pretty Girls’ Failure
Perhaps it’s because there’s no melody and it’s mostly just Iggy Azalea and Britney Spears talk-singing, but it’s a surprise to me that their song “Pretty Girls” bombed since it’s a 90{b3ae250968d8f23e719051b6169795770f8fa3ba52727b590caa061262acf2ee} repetitive chorus. Regardless, their poor attempt at slam poetry failed and Iggy is throwing blame to Britney like she held Azalea at gun point to collaborate for the joint venture. “[I]t’s difficult to send a song up the charts without additional promo and tv performances etc. unfortunately i’m…
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FX’s Ridiculous O.J. Simpson Miniseries Cast Photos as Judged by a Millennial
As someone who was quite young during the O.J. Simpson trial, most of what I know about the case is fairly equivocal: a football player whom I regularly got confused with my favorite breakfast beverage murdered his wife but got away with it because of shoddy evidence. I have been able to use my limited knowledge to have some high brow laughs when culturally relevant shows employ some topical humor. That’s right, I’ve seen Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Honestly though, I know fairly little about the case. Most everything I know is through growing up without cable TV and Internet research on how the Kardashians ever became famous. I probably …
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We’ve Done Your Research for You: Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson To Star in Confusing Action-Comedy
Beloved skin sack of muscles, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is set to star in a new comedy/action/sci-fi movie and potential franchise: Alpha Squad Seven. The recently green-lit film has been described as a cocktail of Independence Day, Armageddon and Guardians of the Galaxy. This description only becomes more confusing when you realize Alpha Squad Seven…